New Jets’ Signing!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Who the fuck is it going to be? Well the Jets have suggested that they will announce the success/failure of a bid to get a former England International into the team for a guest 10-match stint. This is exciting and better fucking happen, we need a striker desperately, especially with Bridges out and the team struggling for goals. Immediately I thought of some fanciful names that could possibly ring true, while there are two candidates that are likely and have a chance over that of 10% of actually coming over. But I’ll start with the two main ones, before getting into that shite…

Francis Jeffers – This is probably my top choice for the Jets, and the most likely. He is the youngest of the candidates at the ripe age of 29 and has been without a club since leaving Sheffield Wednesday in May 2010. Before that he had played for Everton, Blackburn and Arsenal (who payed Everton 10 million for him). He has an abundance of talent but has been dogged by inconsistency and injuries. He is my favourite for the 10-match stint. Interestingly he scored the consolation goal for the Pommies when we beat them 3-1 all those years ago.

Darius Vassell – Also without a club since May 2010, leaving Turksih outfit Ankaragucu. Before that he played Premier League football with Aston Villa and Man City. Is infamous for missing a penalty in England’s Euro 2004 exit to Portugal. He is only up there with Jeffers because of his age and the fact that he only recently retired from football…

These are the more unlikely candidates for various reasons – mainly age and their commitment to other jobs but I thought I’d dream and look at the possibilities.

Alan Shearer – currently working for the BBC as a matchday pundit, very unlikely. But FUCK, imagine that. Not happening though.

Teddy Sherringham – at 44 years old it is a massive long shot and I’m not really sure why I put him in here. But he is class and I reckon he would rip up the A-League. Given the fact that he was playing up until July 2009 it is not impossible. He also played in the Premier League with West Ham aged 40 so could still be alright for the A-League.

Andy Cole – Turns 39 mid-October but didn’t retire until November 2008 after a stint with Nottingham Forest, and before that he was still playing Premier League football with Sunderland before a loan move to Burnley. Also unlikely seeing as though he has been out of the game for a fair while.

Stan Collymore – Also 39 and was rumoured to have been offered a chance at the Newcastle Jets before, however the move was blocked by the FFA due to his personal problems. He retired when he was 30 after playing top-level football. so you would think he could still offer quite a bit. A class act he scored a goal every other game for Liverpool in the 1990’s. This one is very fanciful as he has a successful career in TV, however this is the guy I want to come the most. Apart from Wor Alan of course..

Trevor Sinclair – He is 37 and last played with Cardiff City from 2007-2008. Before that he had played for Man City, not much of a goal-scorer but managed 12 caps for England, the 2002 World Cup. Another name that just popped into my head when I thought of England Internationals that may be tempted to Australia, but just like most of the candidates he’s been out of the game too long.

So yeah, those are my thought. Really I think Jeffers is the most likely, given his age. Though Vassell could be a goer too. The rest are just for fun and the imagination. But yeah any of them would be ace.

That is all.


About janekspeight

I'm 22 years old, love football, want to be a football journalist
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